Reader advisory: Don't read if you don't want to know about my crap.
I never appreciated our 'western' style toilets more until the first time I was forced to take a crap hovering over a squat toilet. For those of you who haven't had the experience of using one, it's basically a toilet bowl sunk even with the floor. And most of the time, at the guest houses, you don't flush these things. Oh no, there's just a barrel of water with a small pitcher or something of the sort in it to scoop water out of it and dump it down the drain. Because of this, the floor in the bathroom is almost always completely wet and sometimes there's puddles.
It was day 4 and we were in Deboche. The last 'normal' toilet was in Namche, we had hiked for about 7 hours, and I had to go real bad. We got to our guest house and I checked out the bathroom only to see the dreaded squat toilet. I had to use it so I locked the door and popped a squat. It was so awkward and uncomfortable. I was trying aim correctly, make sure my pants wouldn't hit the wet floor, keep my balance, and still relax enough to do the deed. Very quickly my thighs began to burn from squatting, but I was able to drop a nice turd. I was pleased to see my aim was true but the effort had been a little nerve wrecking and I didn't feel the satisfaction of a job well done.
Tala and I were resting before dinner when the gas pains started and they confirmed what I had thought when I finished the first time, I wasn't done yet. In order to make it a little easier I decided to change to shorts so there'd be less chance of getting my clothes wet. So once again I locked myself in, this time for round 2. I positioned myself and lowered my shorts. As I bent and squatted down, a massive fart exploded from my ass and before I could laugh I was rocked by another which fired two turds...way off their mark. I broke out laughing and I was sure someone was hearing all this and wondering what the hell was happening in the bathroom. I regained my composure and really felt a lot better. Now I had to figure out the best way to move my waste across the floor to the bowl. Thankfully there was a little toilet brush propped up in the corner. After dumping a couple of pitchers of water down the hole, I washed my hands and was off to tell Tala. Unfortunately for her I had to tell someone and she was the only one there. She did, however, give me a good tip on squatting stances which undoubtedly helped make my bathroom time a lot easier for the rest of the trek.
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